Song of a Self-Conscious Snake

And That is Particularly Nice

Missster God,

[little snake-hum]

I wasss thinking - as it regardss my ssskin -

[more snake-humming]

You are aware, I gather, being God and all,

that it fallsss off?

[humming]

Well I can't find anybody anywhere who'sss got my kind of trouble

Ssso I got a little worried maybe I'm not like I should be

...there are piecesss of me sstuck to mossst of where I've been...

[humming]

And I've been thinkin 'bout hipposss and rhinoceross and elephantss,

How they're ssso very big and

...I am not

[humming]

Oh Missster God,

and sso I ssstarted thinkin maybe none of it was fair,

Like how the dissstance from their inssidesss to their outssidesss alone

is greater than the disstance from my right outsside over to my left outssside

(which won't ssstay on in the firsst place)

And I don't frighten anyone that knowss me

And I don't ssstrike anyone as anything

to be reckoned with

[humming]

BUT... sssometimess I think maybe

I'm what happenss when pain don't change ya

My belly's as sssoft as it ever wasss

And with sssides thiss sssmooth I can

move like the water

in exquisssite little "S'sss,"

and that isss particularly nice

And I've been thinkin 'bout hipposs and rhinocerosss and elephantss

How they walk the way they do with their bunchy, bunch kneesss,

and I don't have kneess myssself, sso I won't presssume to comment, 'cept

I kinda think I'm cuter

[happy little snake-humming trailing off into distance]